Thursday, August 12, 2010

Home from Haiti

I decided to post what I wrote in my journal today:


Back home now for almost a week. It's always hard to adjust to "normal" life again. I always have this resolve to live differently and to be more aware of my blessings, but it's so easy to slip back into old patterns.


Canez was an experience. Such extreme poverty. Dirt floors in the huts, with nothing to sit or lay down on at night. Convicting! I have too much! The villagers prayed over us as we did the same for them. Powerful! God, never let me forget the faces of these precious people. They need us to remember and to help!


This trip was so different for me. I come home feeling as though I didn't do enough; as though my attitude was not right. Sure, I taught precious children about some men and some fish. I shared with them about Jesus knowing them by name and providing for their needs. But do I believe it in my own life? Really? I again think about my attitude on this trip. Did I allow God to use me? Did I go out of obligation or out of love? God, that my heart would be set on you and on loving and serving others in your name!


I'm reading The Hole in Our Gospel http://www.theholeinourgospel.com/. Seeing so much that I've never seen or taken the time to see from God's Word. The author shares from Isaiah 58 to identify the massive hole in our gospel. It speaks to why it feels as though God is not hearing our prayers. God called the Israelites on their "appearing to seek His will and presence". God points out their wrong attitudes behind their actions. They were superficial. Insincere hearts don't work with God! Lord, forgive me for having an insincere heart!


In Isaiah 58:6-7, God clearly shows that we must feed the hungry and the poor; to provide shelter! It's there! Read it! Verses 8-11 reveal what will take place in the lives of believers who pursue and live out the whole gospel in their lives. The crazy thing is that this passage was brought to my attention in a small group study a couple of years ago. It's highlighted. And, I've read it numerous times over the last few month. Now, it's more real to me! I get it, but will I do something about it? God promises to hear and answer when we tangibly demonstrate compassion, mercy, justice, and love. God, my prayer is to live this out in my life and to model this for my children!


The author goes on to share from Matthew 25, which speaks to serving those who are in need. Serving these people is like serving Jesus. Jesus speaks about the sheep and the goats. This passage is so important! Am I a sheep, faithfully serving? Or am I a goat, claiming to be a follower of Christ, but not acting on it? Lord, that I would be a sheep - one who not only professes faith in Christ, but who lives it out in her actions and service to others. My prayer is that others would see the love of Christ boldly displayed in my life!


The paraphrase by the author of this passage in Matthew 25 smacked me right in the face:


"For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank
bottled water. I was a stranger and you wanted me deported. I needed
clothes, but you needed more cothing. I was sick, and you pointed out the
behaviors that led to my sickness. I was in prison and you said that I was
getting what I deserved." - Wow!


God's expectations are clear! Now what? I John 2:3-4 says, "We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says I know him, but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him."

Thank you Lord for meeting with me today and showing me the massive hole in what I've been living.

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